Baileywick's Adventure
by The 8 Generals
Summary: We regret to inform you that we have not only watched "Sofia the First," but also got a strange attachment to the character Baileywick. We actually don't know what he's like at all, but we only assume that he is a homosexual, anorexic man. And then there's us in Magi, saying we're from the Baileywick Tribe and ouR ACTUAL (FAKE) TRIBE NAMESAKE HAS APPEARED. werenotsorry
1. The Tribe Leader

As Sinbad strolled through the festival, after chatting with Princess Kougyoku, he decided to have a drink with some female guests. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed something similar to a gay stick. Curious from the figure, he decided to get a closer look. As he approached the strange figure, he finally saw _it._

This man was nothing like Sinbad had ever seen before. He had an anorexic figure to him, near his waist. Sinbad blinked in disbelief. His fashion was… well a bit distasteful, having horridly tight blue pants that did not look too comfortable. He wore round large lenses and strange attire that looked like he was suffocating himself around the neck. To be honest, he didn't think this man was human at first.

Suddenly, this mysterious, disturbing man glanced up at Sinbad, noticing Sinbad's disgusted stare.

"Excuse me sir, would you happen to, ahem, know where Princess Sofia is?"

Sinbad blinked in complete shock. Princess Sofia? Maybe he was referring to Kougyoku.

"Ah yes, you mean Princess Kougyoku?" Sinbad asked, rubbing his ass. Whose ass, you may ask? Now that is not to be discussed.

"No SOFIA, not Kaka. And might I ask why you have purple hair?" Baileywick asked, stroking Sinbad's hand.

"What the fuck are you doing," Sinbad lowered his voice, ripping his hand away from this gay man's reach. "Are you drunk?"  
"I'm pretty sure you're the gay one. As well as drunk. Who would dye their hair purple? ?" Bailey commented, taking a step closer to this glorious man. "Now please tell me where Princess Sofia. Actually, here's a better question; are you single?"

Sinbad stepped back in fear now. It was his worst fear: an anorexic gay man. He only thought these existed in dreams or rather, nightmares, but no, they actually exist. Shit.

"Are you..afraid?" The stranger asked, gently gliding his hand over his robe. Sinbad grabbed his hand in a firm grip. No one molested their king. Not even gay anorexic men.

Sinbad immediately knocked the creep out, making him fall to the ground. To make sure no one saw him, he hid the body in the palace, telling the 8 Generals to guard it at all times.

The man woke up, startled to see even more attractive men. He seductively said, "_Hello there, hun. So how many inches are-" _he couldn't finish before being knocked out yet again by one of the generals.

"IS THAT FUCKIGN BAILELYWICK? ? ?" Samantha screamed in horror as Genevieve entered the room to see.

"Oh please Sam it can't be- HOLY SHIT IT IS! !" Genevieve said, also screaming in horror.

"You….you know this man?" Ja'far asked in surprise, turning to the anorexic pile of shit that as laying on the floor.

Samantha and Genevieve looked at each other in terror. Should they tell them?

"This is… our tribe leader! Remember when we told you about the Baileywick tribe that we're from? Well this is our namesake!" Genevieve said joyfully, then leaning over to Baileywick, who is still asleep, "justgowithit."

"…Did you just whisper 'just go with it' to Baileywick?" Ja'far asked after a moment of silence.

"No, silly, I said 'Just go shit!' It's our tribe leader greeting that we say whenever we see the holy tribe leader. Gotta stick to tradition, you know."

"Oh hello you two. I've see you've met my molester, Mr. Anorexic Fuck," Sinbad greeted cheerfully, strolling in.

"Uhm, actually Sin, these two girls just told me that this is their tribe leader," Ja'far murmured.

Sinbad stood in complete silence, his throat slowly closing up.

"Oh… I'm sorry if I offended you with, er, his nickname," Sinbad said with an unknown expression.

As the other generals wandered in, they jeered and poked at Baileywick in curiosity.

"Now now everyone, remember, this was the man that tried to fuck me."

A couple of the generals applauded, while Sharkkan exclaimed, "But everyone wants to fuck you!"

A few murmurs and approvals were heard in the crowd.

Suddenly, Baileywick's eyes shot open. He sat upright, looking around at his surroundings in fear. But when he saw Sinbad not far off, his fears dissolved.

"Oh my, sir, I didn't know you would go to such drastic measures to kidnap me like this," Baileywickwork whispered.

"Oh, hello, Tribe Leader Baileywick," Genevieve said.

"Eh, what now?" sadly, Baileywick didn't listen to that sleep message she gave him.

"just go with it," She whispered again, this time to the conscious Baileywick.

"What was that, Genevieve?" Sinbad asked curiously.

"Ehehe, just… greeting him… again…" She looked down, trying not to give it all away.

Samantha just stood there, not knowing how to respond to shit.

"Now sir, where…were we," Baileywick crawled seductively over to Sinbad.

Sinbad gently placed his shoe over the man's face, then pushed with full force. Baileywick flew back and crashed into the window, falling 3408 stories down.

"I….I can't take this kind of abuse any longer," Samantha whispered turning away from it all.

"Ehe! That was so cool, Sinbad! Can you do that to him again, please?" The expression of Genevieve turned to a creepy yandere look.

Sinbad laughed with arrogance. "Not bad eh?"

"Sinbad…you just kicked their tribe leader out of the 3408th story!" Ja'far exclaimed in complete horror, shielding the young ones (apparently Samantha and Genevieve) away from the scene.

"Huh? Oh yeah, tribe leader. Yeah, we might wanna go get him," Genevieve said, almost positive she could still hear Baileywick's screams outside the building as he fell to the ground.

"That's alright, he's pretty old. It's probably too late," Samantha assured them, hopeful they would believe her. If Baileywick was still alive, he would tell them the truth about him not being a tribe leader.

"Nope, he's alive," Sharkkan murmured looking down to see a small figure waving from the ground.

Suddenly Sharkkan found himself in the air, falling.

"…"

Everyone looked toward Genevieve who was crouched near the shattered window.

"Uh… whoops…" Genevieve looked as Sharkkan also fell, hoping he would crush the remains of Baileywick.

Samantha gave Genevieve the thumbs up; Genevieve decided to do the same, though she had no idea what that meant.

"….Did you just give Genevieve the thumbs up," Sinbad asked in all seriousness.

Genevieve looked back through the broken window. Not only did he miss Baileywick, oh no. He crushed her lover friend Kouha, who, for some shitty excuse, was in Sindria.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT KOUHA I'M SORRY!" she screamed at him, horrified at what she had just done. She then looked over at him, noticing he had his sword with him. She yelled, "KILL THE SKINNY FUCKASS OVER THERE!" She motioned to Baileywick.

Sharkkan looked up at her with tears in his eyes, crying not because of the pain, but because she didn't give a shit if he was just pushed out a window and almost died.

Before anyone could say anything they heard a sickening crack, along with one final distorted scream from Baileywick as Kouha sliced him in two.

"Did….did Kouha just…" Samantha trailed off, burying her face in Ja'far's robe (an excuse to pretend she actually sorry for the poor chap).

Genevieve screamed a (sarcastic), "NOOOO!" but Samantha knew she was secretly rejoicing.

"Well, that's that. I guess that Baileywick won't be a problem anymore," Genevieve said with a huge smile.

"Genevieve… why are you smiling? **Your tribe leader was just killed**," Ja'far looked at Genevieve, then at Samantha, who was still latched onto him.

Ja'far then took Samantha into his arms and flew off into the night.

EL FIN


	2. Baileywick's Body Bursting in Flames

As Sinbad watched Baileywick's body ignite in flames, he turned away in thought. It was done, it was finally done. Justice had been served.

Everyone watched in silence as the flames grew stronger, and an awful stench floated into the air. Samantha and Genevieve stood off to the side, pretending to weep.

"I-I'm so sorry… Tribe Leader Baileywickwork…" Genevieve tried to look sad and turned away to put the fake tear eyedrops in her eyes again. In her mind, she thought, '_This is the best day ever. We met Baileywick then set him on fire. __**Beautiful.'**_

"What….what is happening?" Alihubbabubba asked as the three actual main characters appeared from nowhere.

"Is….is that another body burning in flames with Dunya?" Aladdin asked in concern.

"Oh that's just some guy who tried to molest King Sinbad," Yamraiha murmured.

"It's also Samantha and Genevieve's tribe leader," Ja'far added nonchalantly.

Genevieve and Samantha nodded in agreement from the corner, rejoicing weeping for their fake hjhihj

"I… I'm so sorry," Alibaby said, looking at the two.

"It's ok… we'll just never see our beloved Baileywick again," Genevieve sighed and looked into the sunset.

"Genevieve what are you doing…it's morning," Samantha murmured seeing the reflection of a sunset in Genevieve's eyes. As everyone slowly began to depart, Samantha and Genevieve realized that they were in the point of the anime where Aladdin, Aliblubber, Morgiana, Hakuryuu go on another fucking adventure away from their beloved Ja'far and Kouha.

"So… what do we do now…" Genevieve watched as the main protagonists went off in their own directions.

Suddenly Michael Jackson moonwalked onto the scene, singing 'Billie Jean is not my lover ah ah ah'.

"Ok are you serious right now; is there like a fucking portal to our world around here? ?" Samantha asked looking around in disbelief.

"I love that video game!" Sinbad exclaimed, joining Michael Jackson in his moonwalk.

"…How do you know about that?" Genevieve asked.

"….."

"What the fuck Sinbad have you actually been to our world or something…"

Even more silence followed.

"Youth headware," he whispered, moonwalking into the fog.

Samantha and Genevieve decided to forget that ever happened and returned to their room.

"I miss Cool Whip," Genevieve sighed, imprinting the soft caress of the whipped cream in her memory.

"And I miss when this story was actually fucking normal," Samantha sighed in sadness.

"Was it ever?"

"…..Good point," Samantha decided.

Suddenly there was a knock at their door. Secretly, Samantha wished for Ja'far as Genevieve wished for Kouha, but instead, a certain someone had followed them.

Michael Jackson moonwalked into the room, now performing pelvic thrusts.

"We gotta get outta here!" Samantha and Genevieve escaped, deciding to hide in some random ship.

"Okay, I think we lost him," Genevieve said, struggling for air after running at top speed.

"Wait… where are we…?"

The two looked at their surroundings. It was a ship. A freaking ship thAT WAS MOVING FROM SINDRIA ALREADY.

"NOOOOO! I NEED TO SAY GOODBYE TO JA'FAR!" Samantha screamed as the ship continued on to wherever the hell it was going.

Suddenly, Morgiana, Hakuryuu, and Aladdin entered the room and stood in surprise to see the two girls.

"Oh are you joining us?" Aladdin asked cheerfully.

"NO," Samantha screamed, attempting to run outside and jump overboard to swim back to Sindria.

"She means I want tacos," Genevieve explained, hoping that would clear up some questions.

"….Well anyways do you want to pretend to make fun of Alibaba?" Aladdin asked as the others nodded in agreement.

"HECK yes we will make fun of Alifatass," Samantha replied in joy.

"So, where are we gonna go to make fun of Alikaka," Genevieve also looked extremely happy.

"Well, he took the room next to ours, thinking that we're going to be in there. But, he was wrong, as always, so we'll be in our room, loud enough for him to hear," Hakuryuu told them.

They then heard a random knock/bump from the other room next door. Alibippityboppityboo had entered.

"Alright, let's start," Aladdin said quietly.

"But, don't you get the feeling something's been missing?" Aladdin tried saying loud enough for Alibooba to hear.

"Yes actually, I've had that feeling myself," Morgiana said, playing along.

"Ah – breakfast! You see, I've prepared some for us," Hakuryuu said, taking out some food from his ass.

"Oh, but to be honest, what do you all think about that person?" Hakuryuu asked again with a mouthful.

"That person? Who do you mean?" Aladdin asked innocently.

"Well who else could I mean? I'm talking about Alibaba," Hakuryuu murmured. Samantha and Genevieve watched them act out the scene quite well.

"Alibaba-kun….right," Aladdin murmured quietly as he ate.

"Aladdin, you're quite the Alibaba advocate, aren't you?" Hakuryuu stated.

_Wow, they're really going hard on this guy, _Samantha thought, sending a telepathic message to Genevieve's mind.

_Yeeee son, _Genevieve answered. Samantha decided to not reply to that.

"Well, he was practically the first person I ever met when I arrived aboveground, so in a way….yeah. But now that I've known him for a long time, there are certain things that I've noticed about him."

"Like what?" Hakuryuu asked.

"Right. You see Alibaba….."

"Is a crybaby?" Samantha asked, suggestively.

"Is annoying?" Genevieve added.

Hakuryuu stifled a laugh and Aladdin gave them the thumbs up.

"Yes, he's not popular. Whenever I'm getting chummy with a beautiful woman, he's always staring at us with these hungry eyes, sucking on his finger with a vengeful look on his face," Aladdin replied.

"Well if that's the case, no wonder he's not popular!" Hakuryuu exclaimed.

"Come to think of it, I, too…." Morgiana began her story. "Some time ago, I saw Aladibaba acting in a curious manner. He had exposed his entire lower body in his room, and was lying in wait for me."

"What the fuck," Samantha said much to their surprise.

"I actually believe this," Genevieve said, not at all sarcastically.

"That's awful!" Aladdin added in horror.

"That's unforgivable!" Hakuryuu exclaimed. "Doing such a thing to Miss orgiana…he is the most vile of scoundrels!"

"You mean, Alibaba was into that kind of thing? No wonder he's not popular!"

What? What the fuck Aladdin? "Excuse me Aladdin but did you say 'no wonder he's not popular from that kind of thing? Can I just remind you that you have been to a prostitute's place and done the same things with those women?"

"FEMINISM ACTIVATED!" Genevieve screamed.

"…..What."

They could hear Alibuttba's screams of terror from the next room and decided to go see their masterpiece. They opened the door to see him on the floor, crying (well, when isn't he crying), and extremely depressed.

"Yeeee son we got you gooooood," Samantha whispered, as Alibaba stared at them expressionless.

A faint Michael Jackson song played in the distance, adding an even better effect to this beautiful scene.


End file.
